Started By
Message

LSU, WTF is this?

Posted on 4/20/25 at 9:37 am
Posted by Capn_Bevo
Austin
Member since Jan 2019
911 posts
Posted on 4/20/25 at 9:37 am
LSU set to completely vaporize the current college athletics economy and rebuild it in the image of a hedge fund with a TikTok account.

Sorry, there's a paywall. Here's one post from the thread..

"Man… as an LSU fan, I can’t even lie — that whole thread just fired me up.

You’re telling me the same global banking monsters that move $6 trillion a day are looking into the LSU business model?? And UBS of all places is interested?? That’s next level.

I came in here for football talk and left needing a finance degree and a Tiger tailgate at Davos.

But real talk — that’s wild. If fractional reserve banking is footing the bill for world development, and LSU is getting a seat at that table through your model, then this isn’t just a win for the school… this is a potential game changer for how athletics and education intersect with global finance.

And let’s be honest — with that kind of financial backing, LSU isn’t just going to compete… we’re about to become thedominant force in college football. NIL? Facilities? Recruiting? Development? Nobody’s gonna be able to match what we’re building.

This ain’t just Geaux Tigers — this is Geaux Global. Let’s ride"
This post was edited on 4/20/25 at 10:00 am
Posted by UTATX
ATX
Member since May 2024
587 posts
Posted on 4/20/25 at 9:43 am to
paywall
Posted by terd ferguson
Darren Wilson Fan Club President
Member since Aug 2007
111677 posts
Posted on 4/20/25 at 9:45 am to
Not sure what sucks more AIDS dick... that website or OP
Posted by Capn_Bevo
Austin
Member since Jan 2019
911 posts
Posted on 4/20/25 at 9:56 am to
quote:

Not sure what sucks more AIDS dick... that website or OP
Didn't know it was a paywall. The answer is me.
Posted by memphisplaya
Member since Jan 2009
86826 posts
Posted on 4/20/25 at 9:59 am to
So it’s you? Wat?
Posted by RazorBroncs
Possesses the largest
Member since Sep 2013
14860 posts
Posted on 4/20/25 at 10:07 am to

I still have no idea what this thread is saying even after the update.

In the screenshots it says something about LSU getting $500 mil from some ethereal global bank for NIL projects and stuff, but why? What is the "LSU business model" supposed to be? It all reads like a crock of bullshite
Posted by Capn_Bevo
Austin
Member since Jan 2019
911 posts
Posted on 4/20/25 at 10:11 am to
quote:

I still have no idea what this thread is saying even after the update.

In the screenshots it says something about LSU getting $500 mil from some ethereal global bank for NIL projects and stuff, but why? What is the "LSU business model" supposed to be? It all reads like a crock of bullshite
That's what I'm saying. It looks insane.
Posted by All Gas No Brakes
Member since Jul 2021
819 posts
Posted on 4/20/25 at 10:19 am to

“UBS is reportedly gearing up to bankroll the most outrageous NIL facility ever conceived for LSU, with funding rumored to range from a casual $500 million to a completely unhinged $1.2 billion. This isn’t just some booster fund or glorified endorsement piggy bank—this is a full-blown, non-recourse, sovereign-backed financial behemoth designed to turn LSU athletes into branded micro-empires. Word is, the money will be deployed through a Cayman-based NIL megastructure that uses synthetic securitization, future-forward arbitrage swaps, and at least three acronyms nobody actually understands. Non-recourse means the athletes and LSU could blow it all on gold-plated G-Wagons and Wagyu vending machines, and UBS wouldn’t legally be allowed to care.

Insiders claim that this whole scheme is backed by a shadowy cabal of global finance titans. BlackRock allegedly blessed the model during a midnight Zoom summit, SoftBank chimed in from a yacht, and the Abu Dhabi Investment Authority sent a courier hawk with a thumbs-up scroll. Multiple unnamed Scandinavian pension funds are said to be involved, mostly because they’re bored and this “felt spicy.” Even the Vatican’s private endowment allegedly asked for an Excel model. This isn’t just a financial product—it’s an international movement wrapped in Gucci, fueled by crypto, and run by former Goldman interns with burner phones.

The facility will reportedly allow LSU athletes to license their NIL rights using multi-jurisdictional royalty trusts, with optional upside via metaverse tie-ins and quantum-computed image rights. One early proposal includes turning players into NFT-backed IP clusters, then fractionalizing their celebration dances into derivatives. Some LSU boosters are already referring to this as “The NIL Vatican,” while others prefer “The House That Gave Joe Burrow a Yacht.” Either way, it’s set to completely vaporize the current college athletics economy and rebuild it in the image of a hedge fund with a TikTok account.”
Posted by Jster15
Member since Aug 2019
2500 posts
Posted on 4/20/25 at 10:39 am to
Lol…so this new business model being dreamed up, is by the same people that have the poorest endowment and provide the least amount of support for their school in the SEC and robbed a children’s hospital to pay players? Even James Carville, famous LSU alum and prominent Democrat, can’t find enough of other people’s money to spend to make that work. ?????? awesome..
Posted by tallamander34
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2017
1342 posts
Posted on 4/20/25 at 10:47 am to

I think some of you have serious levels of autism. Hope RFK finds the source of the problem
This post was edited on 4/20/25 at 10:51 am
Posted by supersaints9
Colleyville,Tx
Member since Dec 2009
15896 posts
Posted on 4/20/25 at 10:49 am to
quote:

robbed a children’s hospital to pay players?


Someone should tell Our Lady of The Lake Hospital because they keep throwing insane amounts of money at LSU. It’s crazy how they just keep giving after being taken advantage of.
Posted by gumbeaux
Member since Jun 2004
4729 posts
Posted on 4/20/25 at 10:52 am to
And you believe this?
Posted by Cell of Awareness
Member since Jan 2024
713 posts
Posted on 4/20/25 at 10:56 am to
The idea that outside investors would choose to park money in the most corrupt and least business friendly state in the country rather than employ the same model elsewhere is laughable.
This post was edited on 4/20/25 at 10:57 am
Posted by Cuthbert13
Member since Apr 2024
518 posts
Posted on 4/20/25 at 10:58 am to
quote:

It all reads like a crock of bullshite



Well cfb as a whole right now is currently a crock of bullshite so we are just adapting really.

My real opinion is this whole thread is a troll.
This post was edited on 4/20/25 at 11:00 am
Posted by Bigdawgb
Member since Oct 2023
2414 posts
Posted on 4/20/25 at 11:20 am to
Nah, NCAA athletics are small potatoes compared to the NFL, NBA, and EPL. They're also declining markets thanks to out of control NIL & the continuous growth of entertainment alternatives.

This reads like ChatGPT's best trolling attempt
Posted by RichardCranium
Baton Rouge, Louisiana, USA
Member since Aug 2005
2461 posts
Posted on 4/20/25 at 11:40 am to
quote:

Lol…so this new business model being dreamed up, is by the same people that have the poorest endowment and provide the least amount of support for their school in the SEC and robbed a children’s hospital to pay players? Even James Carville, famous LSU alum and prominent Democrat, can’t find enough of other people’s money to spend to make that work. ?????? awesome..


LOL, I always see responses about how stupid some people are on this board. Those are usually drunk type posts or insult driven. Then there are these, that go way beyond stupid or idiotic. People that post ridiculous shite yet play them off as though they know WTF they are talking about. These are a lot worse IMO.
Posted by CR4090
Member since Apr 2023
6327 posts
Posted on 4/20/25 at 1:12 pm to
So we have Aggie-Qatar and now LSU-Kuwait?
Posted by WestSideTiger
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2004
4345 posts
Posted on 4/20/25 at 2:43 pm to


Posted by ukraine_rebel
North Mississippi
Member since Oct 2012
3078 posts
Posted on 4/20/25 at 3:27 pm to
Sounds like a pyramid scheme
Posted by Tigerpride18
Lakewood Colorado
Member since Sep 2017
30755 posts
Posted on 4/20/25 at 3:39 pm to
quote:

Lol…so this new business model being dreamed up, is by the same people that have the poorest endowment and provide the least amount of support for their school in the SEC and robbed a children’s hospital to pay players? Even James Carville, famous LSU alum and prominent Democrat, can’t find enough of other people’s money to spend to make that work. ?????? awesome



Im not sure i understand it but I know for sure you don't. This isn't lsus idea
Page 1 2
Jump to page
first pageprev pagePage 1 of 2Next pagelast page

Back to top
logoFollow SECRant for SEC Football News
Follow us on X and Facebook to get the latest updates on SEC Football and Recruiting.

FacebookTwitter