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re: Potential FIL

Posted on 6/22/16 at 5:30 pm to
Posted by TbirdSpur2010
ALAMO CITY
Member since Dec 2010
134026 posts
Posted on 6/22/16 at 5:30 pm to
quote:

I am talking about profiling in the denotative sense. Do you not do this based on your experiences?


From a skin pigmentation standpoint? Hell no.

quote:

He spoke specifically of culture where I believe has a point.


He did not have a point. Black people do not all have the same culture. Nor do other ethnic groups in this country. As was stated earlier, socioeconomic status is the biggest defining factor, not race.

quote:

If I am not attracted to black women, that isn't wrong.


It's disingenuous. There are dime pieces in every skin tone.

quote:

I don't feel someone is automatically racist because they are cautious of this sort of thing, although I am fully aware that is regularly a driving factor.


If it's a factor at all, that's an indication of racial discrimination. What is there to be "cautious" of when it comes to ethnicity? Especially if one (not directed at you) purports to judge folk on their own merit? It's kinda silly to even attempt to rationalize it at this point.

quote:

These days it seems like anyone who disagrees is labeled a racist or bigot or whatever


I just call it for what it so obviously is. It's not about "disagreement." If you disagree with folks marrying based on skin color, that's racism. Period.



Posted by Robert Goulet
Member since Jan 2013
9999 posts
Posted on 6/22/16 at 7:04 pm to
quote:

From a skin pigmentation standpoint? Hell no


I guess we will have to disagree here. Our minds group things based on experience. For instance, I have been robbed or attempted twice, both by people who looked, talked, and acted the same. Do I condemn the whole race? Of course not. But I am certainly going to have my guard up when I see a person like that approaching me.

quote:

Nor do other ethnic groups in this country. As was stated earlier, socioeconomic status is the biggest defining factor, not race.


Certainly agree, although there seems to be correlation.

quote:

Especially if one (not directed at you) purports to judge folk on their own merit? It's kinda silly to even attempt to rationalize it at this point.



From an idealist standpoint I agree, but we do not live in an ideal world. I have always said I try to take people on a case-by-case but as I stated above, it is sometimes hard to do as we sort out people based on appearance, etc. This is just a fact.

quote:

If you disagree with folks marrying based on skin color, that's racism. Period.



I do not. Certainly not what I am trying to get across.
Posted by TbirdSpur2010
ALAMO CITY
Member since Dec 2010
134026 posts
Posted on 6/22/16 at 7:34 pm to
quote:

For instance, I have been robbed or attempted twice, both by people who looked, talked, and acted the same.


You do realize only one of those things has to do with race, correct?

quote:

Certainly agree, although there seems to be correlation.



Correlation and causation are two completely different things. It's utterly reprehensible to believe that a person's skin color has any bearing on their comportment.

quote:

From an idealist standpoint I agree, but we do not live in an ideal world. I have always said I try to take people on a case-by-case but as I stated above, it is sometimes hard to do as we sort out people based on appearance, etc. This is just a fact.


It's not idealism to call out sorting out people on the basis of pigmentation. Nor should it be excused.

quote:

I do not. Certainly not what I am trying to get across.



No, what you're trying to get across is that it's ok or understandable under certain conditions. It ain't.

This post was edited on 6/22/16 at 7:36 pm
Posted by Robert Goulet
Member since Jan 2013
9999 posts
Posted on 6/22/16 at 8:26 pm to
quote:

No, what you're trying to get across is that it's ok or understandable under certain conditions. It ain't.



Not at all what I am trying to get across. It appears we have reached an impasse, I enjoyed the dialogue.
Posted by TbirdSpur2010
ALAMO CITY
Member since Dec 2010
134026 posts
Posted on 6/22/16 at 8:34 pm to
quote:

Not at all what I am trying to get across.


Then I don't understand what you're driving at

It's whatevs
Posted by sms151t
Polos, Porsches, Ponies..PROBATION
Member since Aug 2009
139910 posts
Posted on 6/22/16 at 9:16 pm to
You're my boy and all but you've played this card a lot lately.

I'm going to be Devil's Advocate

Is it racism to marry outside your race also? Or is that prejudice? Or is that discrimination?

As we've discussed everyone is racist in their own way. Not a single person alive has never not been racist at some point.
Posted by TbirdSpur2010
ALAMO CITY
Member since Dec 2010
134026 posts
Posted on 6/22/16 at 10:26 pm to
quote:

You're my boy and all but you've played this card a lot lately.


What "card"? haven't posted more about this than usual. Hell this thread was days old before I commented.

quote:

Is it racism to marry outside your race also? Or is that prejudice? Or is that discrimination?


Huh? No. The frick?

quote:

As we've discussed everyone is racist in their own way.


Incorrect. As we've discussed before that's an assumption/excuse.




Posted by sms151t
Polos, Porsches, Ponies..PROBATION
Member since Aug 2009
139910 posts
Posted on 6/22/16 at 10:39 pm to
quote:

we've discussed before that's an assumption/excuse.



No it's a fact. So you've never made any judgements about people due to skin? You're lying. It's engrained into all humans, based on society and culture. I'm sorry but you're being idealist. Real world.

I only date a certain race am I not being racist/prejudicial/discriminatory? Yes I am.
This post was edited on 6/22/16 at 10:41 pm
Posted by sms151t
Polos, Porsches, Ponies..PROBATION
Member since Aug 2009
139910 posts
Posted on 6/22/16 at 10:43 pm to
Trash is trash
Racism is racism
Stupidity is stupidity

No matter what race creed or ethnicity

At one time in our life we have done what we say we never do in the new America. We all judge based on color of skin, even if just briefly.
This post was edited on 6/22/16 at 10:45 pm
Posted by TbirdSpur2010
ALAMO CITY
Member since Dec 2010
134026 posts
Posted on 6/22/16 at 10:59 pm to
quote:

No it's a fact.


Incorrect.

quote:

So you've never made any judgements about people due to skin?


No. Because that's fricking stupid

quote:

You're lying.


Incorrect.

quote:

It's engrained into all humans, based on society and culture.


*ingrained

And also incorrect. It's something that is taught.

quote:

I'm sorry but you're being idealist. Real world.


I'm being real with you. I don't have time in this life for racial judgments. Too many good folks out there of every hue for me to afford to miss out on one of them due to something trifling like that. And I know of overwhelming numbers of folks who feel similarly.

quote:

I only date a certain race am I not being racist/prejudicial/discriminatory? Yes I am.



Ok....that's you. I never gave a frick about the ethnicity of a girl. Just wanted her to have a nice arse and be fun to be around.



Posted by TbirdSpur2010
ALAMO CITY
Member since Dec 2010
134026 posts
Posted on 6/22/16 at 11:00 pm to
quote:

We all judge based on color of skin, even if just briefly.


Nope. You don't speak for everyone.
Posted by CCTider
Member since Dec 2014
24260 posts
Posted on 6/29/16 at 5:31 pm to
So, is the op alive?
Posted by TbirdSpur2010
ALAMO CITY
Member since Dec 2010
134026 posts
Posted on 6/29/16 at 5:36 pm to
Posted by heartbreakTiger
grinding for my grinders
Member since Jan 2008
138974 posts
Posted on 6/29/16 at 5:39 pm to
doubt it
Posted by Evolved Simian
Bushwood Country Club
Member since Sep 2010
20806 posts
Posted on 6/29/16 at 6:33 pm to
quote:

I only date a certain race am I not being racist/prejudicial/discriminatory? Yes I am.




What an ignorant statement. Attractions are dictated by biology.
Posted by CrimsonTideMD
Member since Dec 2010
6925 posts
Posted on 6/29/16 at 6:49 pm to
1. Hopefully you're still alive

2. Good on you for trying to be the bigger man here.

3. When I can see potential conflict materializing on the horizon, I like to be prepared for "worst case scenarios." Just in case.

In the situation you've described, I see a couple of scenarios--UNLIKELY, but possible-- that could blow the doors off:

A. He drops the N the bomb. To provoke you, making you look like the bad guy.

B. He goes off on his daughter, calling her a whore, POS, N-lover, etc.



I only bring this up because you really don't know just how bad this guy is. And you really cant predict it based on your GF or those of her family that you have met.

Odds are, if he's truly a racist, he's a coward. The vast majority of them are.

But some are aggressive and evil, think Bob Ewell in To Kill A Mockingbird. So you need to be prepared.


This post was edited on 6/29/16 at 6:50 pm
Posted by CrimsonTideMD
Member since Dec 2010
6925 posts
Posted on 6/29/16 at 7:01 pm to
As far as how to respond, for situation A, I think I'd go with something like "It's a shame you feel that way. I love your daughter, I'd do anything for her. I have her best interest at heart, just like you. I think if you gave me a chance, you'd come to see that. Thank you for your time" and exit quickly. I think the bolded part is important bc it may possibly establish a common ground for yall to build from.


Scenario B is tough. The best thing to do would probably be to quickly leave with your GF.

However, the realistic side of me knows that I would have a very, Very, VERY difficult time avoiding some violence if someone was cussing the love of my life in my presence.

I'm interested to hear the advice from other OTBers
Posted by Jimmy Dean
Member since Jun 2016
46 posts
Posted on 6/29/16 at 7:56 pm to
Can't blame the father for wanting more for his daughter and wanting his grandkids to know their dad.
Posted by TbirdSpur2010
ALAMO CITY
Member since Dec 2010
134026 posts
Posted on 6/29/16 at 7:57 pm to
Go frick yourself.
Posted by Jimmy Dean
Member since Jun 2016
46 posts
Posted on 6/29/16 at 7:59 pm to
you're 1 of 100... i applaud you. if more were like you this country would be a great place.
This post was edited on 6/29/16 at 8:00 pm
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