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SIAP: Your BCS School As A Drug
Posted on 7/6/12 at 3:19 pm
Posted on 7/6/12 at 3:19 pm
Link to the rest
"SEC
ALABAMA: Cocaine. Undefeated, except for the big blank spots in the record taken by criminal sanction. Powerful. Can turn you into an unbelievable a-hole. Expensive, and has a strong correlation with criminal behavior. Brought to you by a vast, shadowy cartel.
AUBURN: Knockoff cocaine. Strong correlation with criminal behavior. High highs; lows often associated with cash-only exchanges. Brought to you by a small, shadowy cartel.
FLORIDA: Meth. Really only got big after 1990. Violent binges interspersed with long dormant periods. Commonalities: scaly skin, high profit margins, chews through management quickly, occasional disastrous explosions.
GEORGIA: Unsure about Georgia. Zero pattern, pretty good but not great, numbing...Xanax. UGA is Xanax.
LSU: Bourbon. Fuel for great achievements and ill-advised sexual escapades. Might make love to you. Might kill you with a shovel. Damages long term memory with repeated exposures.
TENNESSEE: Ketamine. Creates a trapped, hole-like experience for the user. Label on vial says "For use on subhuman primates only."
VANDERBILT: Nutmeg. Horrible visions, nausea, the last resort of desperate sailors.
KENTUCKY: Methadone. The sad substitute for the drug you cannot get.
TEXAS A&M: Acid. The drug most compatible with creating cults. Wild visions, never wears off. Makes you say things like, "hey, did you notice dog and God are the same words?"
MISSISSIPPI STATE: Mescaline, because you hear bells too, right?
MIZZOU: Over-the-counter ephedrine pills. Induces paranoia, sleeplessness, inability to sit still. May cause you to ice own kicker.
OLE MISS: Keyboard cleaner.
SOUTH CAROLINA: Gas-huffing. Hard to explain the appeal to non-devotees. Headaches, vomiting, delusions. Users are loyal beyond all reason.
ARKANSAS: Ayahuasca. a potent hallucinogen. "A religious sacrament that makes you see demons." NAILED IT."
"SEC
ALABAMA: Cocaine. Undefeated, except for the big blank spots in the record taken by criminal sanction. Powerful. Can turn you into an unbelievable a-hole. Expensive, and has a strong correlation with criminal behavior. Brought to you by a vast, shadowy cartel.
AUBURN: Knockoff cocaine. Strong correlation with criminal behavior. High highs; lows often associated with cash-only exchanges. Brought to you by a small, shadowy cartel.
FLORIDA: Meth. Really only got big after 1990. Violent binges interspersed with long dormant periods. Commonalities: scaly skin, high profit margins, chews through management quickly, occasional disastrous explosions.
GEORGIA: Unsure about Georgia. Zero pattern, pretty good but not great, numbing...Xanax. UGA is Xanax.
LSU: Bourbon. Fuel for great achievements and ill-advised sexual escapades. Might make love to you. Might kill you with a shovel. Damages long term memory with repeated exposures.
TENNESSEE: Ketamine. Creates a trapped, hole-like experience for the user. Label on vial says "For use on subhuman primates only."
VANDERBILT: Nutmeg. Horrible visions, nausea, the last resort of desperate sailors.
KENTUCKY: Methadone. The sad substitute for the drug you cannot get.
TEXAS A&M: Acid. The drug most compatible with creating cults. Wild visions, never wears off. Makes you say things like, "hey, did you notice dog and God are the same words?"
MISSISSIPPI STATE: Mescaline, because you hear bells too, right?
MIZZOU: Over-the-counter ephedrine pills. Induces paranoia, sleeplessness, inability to sit still. May cause you to ice own kicker.
OLE MISS: Keyboard cleaner.
SOUTH CAROLINA: Gas-huffing. Hard to explain the appeal to non-devotees. Headaches, vomiting, delusions. Users are loyal beyond all reason.
ARKANSAS: Ayahuasca. a potent hallucinogen. "A religious sacrament that makes you see demons." NAILED IT."
15
Posted on 7/6/12 at 3:22 pm to tg0926
Alabama=fart huffers
Posted on 7/6/12 at 3:23 pm to tg0926
Huge MEH.
Posted on 7/6/12 at 3:23 pm to MaroonNation
I think youre on all of these.
Posted on 7/6/12 at 3:24 pm to tg0926
How fricking stupid is this thread? 
Terrible.
Terrible.
Posted on 7/6/12 at 3:24 pm to Funky Tide 8
quote:
Huge MEH.
I agree. Doesn't seem like much effort was put into it.
Posted on 7/6/12 at 3:30 pm to tg0926
quote:
ALABAMA: Cocaine. Undefeated
not quite...
Posted on 7/6/12 at 3:31 pm to tg0926
quote:
OHIO STATE: Weed. Wildly popular. Gets smoked by SEC football players in bowls
Posted on 7/6/12 at 3:32 pm to tg0926
i don't even know what to say
Posted on 7/6/12 at 3:38 pm to trillhog
This is awesome, I thought the Ohio State is spot on. Guess many of y'all don't have a sense of humor.
Posted on 7/6/12 at 3:41 pm to tigerrage
I didn't write it guys, just thought I'd share. A few are good for a laugh. Even Mizzou fans have to laugh at our own due to the iced kicker reference.
Posted on 7/6/12 at 3:43 pm to tigerrage
quote:
Guess many of y'all don't have a sense of humor.
I do, but I like things that are funny.
Posted on 7/6/12 at 3:43 pm to tg0926
This thread fricking ghey
Posted on 7/6/12 at 4:04 pm to tg0926
quote:
OLE MISS: Keyboard cleaner.
Alright. I
'd
Posted on 7/6/12 at 4:07 pm to tg0926
My God the season has GOT to start soon.........Posted on 7/6/12 at 4:12 pm to tg0926
quote:
I didn't write it guys, just thought I'd share.
Don't worry, the Rant is basically a place full of snarky assclowns who greet half of all posts with "TL;DR", "ZOMG this thread is teh ghey", "You mad, bro?" or "oh no not this shite again". But hell, the board is called the Rant afterall so may as well be that way.
Posted on 7/6/12 at 4:14 pm to Mizzou Fan in Da ATX
quote:
Don't worry, the Rant is basically a place full of snarky assclowns who greet half of all posts with "TL;DR", "ZOMG this thread is teh ghey", "You mad, bro?" or "oh no not this shite again". But hell, the board is called the Rant afterall so may as well be that way.
Go cry on another board. We don't want you here.
Posted on 7/6/12 at 4:15 pm to Funky Tide 8
quote:
Go cry in another conference. We don't want you here.
Posted on 7/6/12 at 4:15 pm to Funky Tide 8
quote:
Go cry on another board. We don't want you here.
Thanks I forgot that one, also quite common. Good save!
Posted on 7/6/12 at 4:18 pm to Mizzou Fan in Da ATX
quote:
"You mad, bro?"
well, are ya?
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