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SEC Starter Pack

Posted on 11/29/23 at 11:44 am
Posted by polaroid1984
Oklahoma City
Member since Nov 2020
238 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 11:44 am
Alright, now that I had my fun, I need a quick crash course in SEC and Rant lore so I can get up to date.

Good points of context I know: texas 8&4, Joey freshwater, golf balls, TN throwing trash on field, kick six. Clearly missing lots of important info.

Need to get as up to date as possible with this off-season. TIA.
This post was edited on 11/29/23 at 11:53 am
Posted by Pepperoni
Mar-a-Lago
Member since Aug 2013
3890 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 11:47 am to
An oldie but a goodie

LINK Hank's House of Houndstooth
Posted by geauxnavybeatbama
Member since Jul 2013
25134 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 11:48 am to
Posted by ukraine_rebel
North Mississippi
Member since Oct 2012
2779 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 11:48 am to
LSU and Corndogs

A must read before going to LSU this fall, for your own safety.
Posted by BallHawg10
On the Flagship - Fayetteville
Member since Mar 2011
4270 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 11:49 am to
Posted by Pvt Hudson
Member since Jan 2013
4037 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 11:53 am to
The answer to any numerical question is 350.
Nutria make good pets.
Posted by KCM0Tiger
Kansas City, MISSOURI
Member since Nov 2011
15935 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 11:53 am to
It is customary to introduce yourself to the O-T Lounge before posting on the Rant.
Posted by BigBadBoodieDaddy
Member since Nov 2023
862 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 12:03 pm to
-Don't celebrate a win in Louisiana bars because they'll either shoot you or beat you to death.

-If you're a purple heart veteran in Crimson and white, avoid Baton Rouge at all costs. Otherwise you'll get threatened and accosted by drunk LSU rednecks (who most likely claim to be "god fearing patriots" on social media).

-Don't hire LSU's ex coaches otherwise they'll gather in a field and burn him in effigy like some weird klan-like cult.

-Don't take minors to Tiger Stadium because the pedos there will tell them to "suck a Tiger dick".

-Prepare for your players and coaches to receive death threats from Louisiana people before a game.

-Never leave your booty unguarded in Tiger Stadium otherwise an LSU fan's finger may enter your shite tunnel (and they call Aggies "gay").

-Be careful when taking a piss in Tiger Stadium bathrooms because the janitors there will rob you.

-Prepare for 60 year old men in purple and gold to threaten officials (and their families) when one of their players is called for targeting a week before playing Alabama.

-Don't sit in the student section at Tiger Stadium otherwise you may get vomited on.

-If you're a beer vendor, avoid Baton Rouge like a plague. Otherwise, the fans there will likely steal thousands of dollars worth of beer from you.

-Louisiana is the second-poorest state in the union and also boasts the highest homicide rate. So prepare for Somalia with more swamps.

-If you're a minority, avoid the LSU student section because they'll call you the "n word".

-Wear Kevlar when visiting Baton Rouge.

-Watch out for piss balloons.

And how could I forget... don't open any hospitals in Louisiana. Otherwise they'll steal money from you to buy players with.
This post was edited on 11/29/23 at 3:00 pm
Posted by tigersbh
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2005
11448 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 12:07 pm to
quote:

BigBadBoodieDaddy


We’re in your head 24x7. I don’t get it.
Posted by Pepperoni
Mar-a-Lago
Member since Aug 2013
3890 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 12:10 pm to
quote:

It is customary to introduce yourself to the O-T Lounge before posting on the Rant.


But first you make a roux
Posted by LSUDonMCO
Orlando
Member since Dec 2003
7430 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 12:12 pm to
Nice try Gump! This coming from a fan base that has "fans" commit actual felonies (Sexaul assault on LSU fan after 1.12.12, Harvey Updike) rather than drunken allegations made by some toothless Gump fan.

Other things you need to know Boomer:

1. Alabama family reunions have an Only Fans page

2. Jorts are weird shorts and a Gainesville lifestyle choice

3. Tenn's colors are so they don't have to buy another shirt to go deer huntin

4. The Grove is way overrated!
Posted by hoojy
In the fridge with my hot sauce.
Member since Nov 2013
10154 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 12:12 pm to
Don't forget UK basketball is only smack.
Posted by Hback
Member since Aug 2017
10773 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 12:13 pm to

Greatest melt of all time on tRant, courtesy of PrimeTimeDaBoss

quote:

I REALLY fricking hate Alabama. This is 100% a melt. I hate that whole shithole state. I hate the university, their trash arse fan base, and every inbred inhabitant of that shithole. I hate every sports team that represents that trash university. I hate their impotent midget football coach. I hate their classless POS basketball coach. Their baseball coach is cool. frick Bear Bryant’s racist arse. The only time I stop in Tuscaloosa is to take a shite. frick all of their championships, real and fake. There is nothing in this world I hate more than Alabama.
This post was edited on 11/29/23 at 12:17 pm
Posted by DMagic
#ChowderPosse
Member since Aug 2010
47764 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 12:13 pm to
For you my friend
Posted by terriblegreen
Souf Badden Rewage
Member since Aug 2011
10731 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 12:15 pm to
quote:

-Never leave your booty unguarded in Tiger Stadium otherwise an LSU fan's finger may enter your shite tunnel.


I just spit diet coke on my key board.
Posted by Tiger Iron
Middle LA
Member since Apr 2012
2030 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 12:15 pm to
quote:

BigBadBoodieDaddy


Holy shite. Lol. Laughed the whole time reading this.
Posted by Wolfhound45
Member since Nov 2009
120180 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 12:16 pm to
quote:

Nutria make good pets, food, bait, etc
FIFY
Posted by Wolfhound45
Member since Nov 2009
120180 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 12:17 pm to
quote:

BigBadBoodieDaddy
quote:

Louisiana
quote:

LSU
Posted by chillmonster
Atlanta, GA
Member since Dec 2018
5587 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 12:18 pm to
You're just going to have to get used to toting 1 or 2 extra Ls a season and making the playoffs once every 3-4 years.
This post was edited on 11/29/23 at 12:18 pm
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